What Do I Do?

What do I do when my learner faces a problem or conflict at school and comes home upset? 

It only takes a couple of weeks in community for some type of conflict to occur.  Most likely you have heard a complaint from your hero of some type of injustice or offense at school.  Maybe it was a hero buck fine they feel was undeserved, maybe it was a mean action on the playground, or maybe it was something a guide did that the learner feels was unfair.  Learners come home and retell you the scenario and you as a parent feel unsure of how to respond.  You don’t want to jump into the drama triangle and you don’t want to break the Parent Contract so you feel frozen in indecision.  We want to put tools, information, and questions into your hands as parents so you feel equipped to coach your child through these inevitable conflicts.  

There are four resources available to your learner that we want you to know about so you can present them and empower your learner to decide how to handle these difficult situations.  Each one is designed to bring heroes out of a victim mindset and put them in a creator mindset where they feel they have a voice and can confront injustice or broken promises that are hurting the tribe.  

1) Town Hall Slips (pictured below in yellow) – These are slips all heroes and guides can fill out to bring a situation before Town Council.

2) Judicial Request Forms (pictured below in white) – These are requests for adjudication in a situation where perceived injustice may have occurred or a contract was believed to be broken. 

3) Peace Tables – This is a formally requested conversation where a mediator  (usually a guide or older hero) is present so that two parties can work through a conflict.

4) Courageous Conversation  – This is a less formal conversation between two people following the exact steps to the Recipe for a Courageous Conversation (pictured below) 

Look over each of these resources and make yourself super familiar with them. Consider walking through each of the steps to a Courageous Conversation and help them take notes on each step to prepare what they want to share.  The next time your learner comes home upset, walk them through each of these tools and ask them which tool they think they need to use to solve this problem.  You may even want to read this post to them and show them the picture as you talk through the situation. By responding this way, you will be empowering your learner with the tools and voice that they will bring into every relationship and community they interact with in the future… and maybe even use a few of these tools yourself the next time you are facing a difficult relational conflict!